The song, "Thursday Morning"
was written and performed by Marcy Italiano (with Brent Hagerman
on Sax).
On the CD "Songs of Innocence and of Experience"
Marcy wrote and sang the song called "Thursday Morning"
in memory of a moment in New Orleans that is in the book...
Thursday Morning received an Honorable
Mention in the Blues Category,
in the 2009 Unisong International Songwriting Contest. (See full
critique below)
"Thursday Morning just kicked the shit out
of me. I got drawn in by the sax as I love sax, and then the lyrics
sank in and I was a mess. I wasn't prepared for that. Quite the
tune, well done."
-- Kirk Metcalf, Accountant
"Just heard the song you recorded for Katrina
And The Frenchman trailer. Haunting and incredible! Is an MP3
available somewhere?" -- paperbackhorror
via Twitter
Thursday Morning - Unisong
International Songwriting Contest Critique:
Song Name: Thursday Morning
Writer(s): Marcy Italiano
Category: Jazz/Blues (Vocal or Instrumental, and Smooth Jazz)
MELODY
Is the VERSE melody interesting and memorable? Yes
Is the CHORUS melody interesting and memorable? Yes
Is there enough contrast between verse and chorus melodies? Somewhat
Is the overall melody easy for the listener to follow? Exceptionally
Melody Comments:
This is a moving piece of work, with a plaintive,
melancholy, bluesy melody. It is a fairly unusual recording though,
with only a voice and sax, we have to imagine what the chords
would be. Without them, and the EMOTIONAL DIRECTION they would
bring to each section, it is difficult to comment on the melody,
as it is the COMBINATION of melody and chords that make a true
song. However, we still get the point, and it works to let us
know what the intent of the writer wants to get across. In some
ways, the lyrical theme is even more emphatic that there is not
even a drum, or tambourine, or guitar giving us some sort of rhythm
because it makes the singer seem more ALONE. The melody on its
own is very appropriate for this kind of song. You've done a fine
job with this melody, even without accompaniment. There is an
old song from an Elvis Presley movie (King Creole, we think) that
begins quite a bit like this, with a woman singing, "Crawdads
- crawdads" - just as the street vendors in New Orleans do
as they wheel their carts down a street. However, that song soon
has rhythm, chords and everything else a normal pop song would
have, making it more accessible to our current tastes. What a
sad melody you have here, it really DOES make us feel despair.
Nice work.
LYRIC
Does the lyric begin with an interesting first line?
Yes
Does the lyric say something in a new and interesting way? Yes
Does the lyric make the listener feel emotion? Exceptionally
Is the lyric easy to understand? Exceptionally
Does the lyric work well with the melody? Exceptionally
Lyric Comments:
This is a basic theme that has been covered quite
a lot by other songwriters. Katrina is still etched into our consciousness,
even if we didn't go through it personally. By the way that you've
made your song PERSONAL, it makes the point that much more emphatic!
We really FEEL your loss hearing a lone voice telling this sad
tale. Lyrically, this does what twice this many words might do
in another song, because of your use of imagery! Hearing this
is like seeing a film - we're with you all the way, feeling every
part of it! Great, simple, but heartfelt and insightful lyrics.
STRUCTURE
Does the intro build interest in the song? Yes
Does the structure keep the listener's interest? Yes
Do the different sections of the song fit together well? Yes
Structure Comments:
Again, the "voice and sax only" approach
threw us a little at first, expecting rhythm to come in any time,
but we soon got used to it. This is laid out precisely as a modern
song should be: verse, chorus, bridge format song. The chorus
& repeat chorus at the end was just right. Couldn't be better.
TITLE
Does the title create interest in the song? Yes
Is it the correct title for this song? Somewhat
Title Comments:
This is a strong title, as it immediately makes
anyone seeing it want to find out what the story is about. However,
it is oddly placed for a true title, and does not SUM UP the meaning
of the song. Why do we say this? For a number of reasons: The
way it IS... the listener only hears it at the very beginning
of the song, then never again. By songs end, they have forgotten
which day it was, and therefore, your title. Titles should be
PLACED in the strongest positions within a lyric for maximum effect:
at the BEGINNING (first words) and/or END (last words) of your
CHORUS. Why? So that they will be repeated several times and listeners
will recognize it AS the TITLE so they can ASK FOR IT! A more
appropriate (but also more generic-sounding) title would be: "I
lost my baby in New Orleans" because it fulfills all of the
above requirements of a strong title. So THAT is your dilemma.
Our suggestion is to leave the title as it is... and put it IN
the CHORUS, by replacing the words "My baby", with "Thursday
Morning"... I lost my baby in New Orleans. That way, it all
works out, because you mention "my baby" immediately
after the first line of the chorus anyway - so none of the meaning
is lost, but that original title "THURSDAY MORNING"
stands out. You CAN have your cake and eat it too! Good job, Marcy.
